Almost Cried

I almost cried at work today.

Not because I was overwhelmed with work or anything. Today is Whitney Houston’s birthday. She would’ve been 49 years old today. I never met Whitney. Never saw her in concert. But she has been a part my life for as long as I can remember.

My favorite memories often revolve around me & my mom riding around in her ’94 Red Chevy (Ruby was her name) listening to Biggie and ‘Pac. And of course, Whitney. When I tell you that we wore that Waiting to Exhale soundtrack out, I mean it. You couldn’t even see the words on the tape after we were done with it. But Whitney was there.

I was getting ready to go out with my friends on February 12, 2012 when I saw the first RIP Whitney Houston tweet. I was confused. Twitter kills someone every week so I didn’t believe it. I quickly typed in the address of the CNN of the entertainment industry, TMZ and there it was.

Whitney Houston dead at 49.

To say I was speechless would still use too many words to describe the way I felt in that moment.

I immediately thought of her daughter Bobbi Kristina. Whitney loved Bobbi Kris. I couldn’t imagine losing my mother as a teenager. I can only hope that she continues to stay healthy and grow into an intelligent young lady that would’ve made Whitney proud.

I watched her funeral in its entirety on CNN with my tissues at my side. I literally cried during most of it. It was a sad yet amazing homegoing service.

Even nearly 6 months to the day later, I’m still shocked that she is not here. Whitney was like that family member that we all have. They’re always around. Fun. A little reckless. But you love them.

As I was listening to her music at work today, I thought about the amazing tribute to Whitney at the BET awards. Although I watched when it originally aired, I was still near tears the second time around. Monica singing I Love the Lord had a lump in throat and I was blinking hard to fight the tears I felt forming in my eyes.

Why was I watching this at work?

After quickly composing myself, I resumed watching Brandy transform into a young Whitney with her medley of I want to Dance with Somebody and I’m Your Baby Tonight. They were amazing. But, I was back in tears by the time her mother hit the stage for her rendition of Bridge Over Troubled Water.

After that emotional rollercoaster, I resumed working. But heading home, I was hit with more Whitney.You would think that I would have been sick of the Whitney music by the end of the day.

Nope.

I haven’t sung so loudly in my car since the day I first got it. I was hitting all the high notes on I Have Nothing (my favorite Whitney song ever) and Why Does It Hurt So Bad.

I miss Whitney.

We’ll always have her music but I wish she was still here.

Still in Disbelief,
Veronica

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