Wearing the Pants

Why is that when a woman is assertive about what she wants in life and in her relationship, she is described as wearing the pants in the relationship?

I was watching Love & Hip Hop:ATL the other day(that’s a whole ‘nother post) and tweeting about the show. One of the stars, Rasheeda (whose YouTube videos I love) was discussing with her husband the future of her career and what should be her next single. She was confident. She knew what she wanted. But the first thing I read on twitter was, “We know who wears the pants in that relationship.”


For some reason, we always equate women having a strong, assertive voice with walking all over her man. Why does that mean that you wear the pants in the relationship? If a man is the same way, he’s simply being a man and taking care of his responsibilities. Does being a woman who knows what she wants mean that you can’t allow a man to be a man?


Take a look at the first family of TV, the Cosby’s. Claire was a smart woman who we all know did not play. But she was also an equal partner with Cliff. Hillary Clinton, LaLa Anthony, Michelle Obama and so on and so forth. There’s so many examples of these strong women.

So should Rasheeda leave her career in the hands of her husband? Of course not. If things didn’t work out, she would regret not being an assertive business woman.

Women are always supposed to or encouraged to be docile and go with the flow. When we’re not like that, people seemed surprised. Don’t be shocked. She’s not trying to wear the pants.

She’s probably wearing her stilleto’s.


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