We’ve all heard it before: The story of the battered woman. For whatever reason, some men feel the need to hit or beat on their girlfriends or wives. What’s more confusing is the fact that some women choose to stay in an abusive situation.
This is a particular situation where I actually have no personal experience. I have personally never been hit, shoved, choked, smacked, slapped or anything of the sort by any man. (Maybe by my mama but that’s another story)
However, I have had friends that have had all of the following done to them. What amazes me is the psyche of these women. It’s almost never about how they are going to get away from the abuser but more about how the situation could’ve have been different.
And I’m thinking, “Yeah, the situation wouldn’t have happened if you had stopped messing with dude the first time he choked your ass.”
I also hear them saying that they were “fighting”. Ain’t no fair fight when it’s a woman fighting a man in 95% of the cases. Even if you did hit him, more than likely he could’ve found a way to diffuse the situation without you ending up with a black eye or in a fetal position crying on the floor. (Y’all remember when Jody slapped Yvette in Baby Boy)
This post isn’t about how women can get out of domestic violence situations or how to look for the warning signs. It’s more about me trying to understand what these women could possibly be thinking. I have tried to put myself in the situation, tried to see it from their point of view and everything and I still don’t get it.
I just a few questions for the women in domestic violence situations:
How can you honestly stay in a relationship that’s based on fear and not love? How can you stay in a relationship where your kids’ lives are in a danger? (If you saw For Colored Girls, then you know what scene I’m thinking of) Why do you feel the need to stay with the man, even if y’all do have kids together? Why are you so afraid to go out into the world on your own?
If you’ve had any experience in this situation, leave me an anonymous comment to help me better understand.